I am stupendously complicated. I am the funniest person you will ever meet. I love to laugh. I am a single mother. I have one beautiful and amazing daughter. I have never been in love. I can't wait to know what that feels like. I love mustard on my hotdogs, onions on my pizza. I love fake eyelashes, make up and fuzzy socks. I love to kiss in the rain. I love to catch snowflakes on my tongue. I love to skinny dip in the Atlantic Ocean in the wee hours of the night. I love twirling my hair. I love the feeling of satin on my skin. I sleep crooked in bed and need atleast 5 pillows. I don't like the way shoes feel on my feet but I love the way they look so I have a bazillion pairs. I like coordination, although I don't have much. I like apples and carrotsticks. Lobster and wine. Fried Dough and egg nog. I don't like Caviar or Champagne... unless you put a strawberry in the champagne.. then I can drink it. I love Mexico and I can't wait to go to Italy someday. I will only go to Italy when I fall in love and he comes with me. I alphabetize my cd's and dvd's. I dislike laundry on the floor, dishes in the sink, seaweed, and the sound of teeth grinding or nails scraping. I tend to push people away. I don't have an explanation for why but I am trying to work on it. I am also trying to stop cussing and smoking cigarettes. I guess I could have alot worse "fixes" but I am still trying to quit smoking. It nauseates me. I don't know why I even do it. I want to live in Miami someday on the beach and vacation in Las Vegas, California and Hamilton Bermuda. I want to get the hell out of Boston thats for sure. It's just so hard for me because I have so much much family and a huge support system for my daughter and I. I love to write. It is my saving grace. Truly. It cleanses me and gives me a sense of security and freedom. Someday I would love to finish my book.
But... I am a procrastinator and my past experience with hopes and dreams?? Well let's just say I don't have such a great track record...
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Under Rug Swept
The time has come for me to start anew.
A Clean slate perhaps? Oh who knows. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Nobody does. I just know now that this crazy world has brought so much to my lap and Now I am trying to decipher what the good is and where to place all of the bad.
I love blogging. I always seem to feel so much better after I vent my world into words that only I truly feel and understand. Yes. You might be able to relate to what I am writing but I am the only one who truly feels my words.
Writing to me is my ultimate escape. It is my safety net from all around me. It keeps me warm when I feel cold. It makes me smile when I am sad and it relieves my anger tremendously when I am mad at the world. And mad at the world I am.... alot.
Why? I can't really pin point the reasons at the moment. I am sure you will read eventually the reasons, from my point of view. You may not even agree with me on alot of things, however I will guarantee that my life will entertain you and maybe help you in alot of ways. My trials, my errors, my smooth roads and the bumpiest ones too. The mistakes I have made...that I will make again I am certain, will hopefully reach out to someone. I want my world and my life, my love, my honor, my heart and my mind, if nothing else, to be someone elses knowledge. I know that sounds crazy. I just wish for everyone, what I never had. A sense of knowing. A sense of understanding. My name is Katie. I am 31 years old. I have seen more things in my 31 years than a ninety year old woman will see in her lifetime. I lived the life of Riley, I have lived in the streets. I have been in a homeless shelter, I have lived in a mansion. I was raised by loving parents and given wonderful opportunities and I have blown most of them.
I am a single mother to a beautiful, talented, amazing daughter. My daughter saved my life. She is my world, my heart and my entire life.
What do I want in life?
I want happiness. I want to wake up every day and not have to worry. I want laughter. I want love. I can't wait to fall in love. When will that happen? hahaha! I ask myself that question every day of my life....
I don't know if it will ever truly happen to me but I embrace the hope that lives deep inside of my heart....
The three things that I hope, dream, wish and yearn for sound so simple to me. Love, Laughter and Happiness. Such simple words yet are by far the most difficult things to come by...for me anyway.
Well.. There you have it. The short summary of who I am and what I am searching for.... I only hope and pray that my next 30 years are easier and full of good friendships and lots of love and happiness. ... and of course laughter.
A Clean slate perhaps? Oh who knows. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Nobody does. I just know now that this crazy world has brought so much to my lap and Now I am trying to decipher what the good is and where to place all of the bad.
I love blogging. I always seem to feel so much better after I vent my world into words that only I truly feel and understand. Yes. You might be able to relate to what I am writing but I am the only one who truly feels my words.
Writing to me is my ultimate escape. It is my safety net from all around me. It keeps me warm when I feel cold. It makes me smile when I am sad and it relieves my anger tremendously when I am mad at the world. And mad at the world I am.... alot.
Why? I can't really pin point the reasons at the moment. I am sure you will read eventually the reasons, from my point of view. You may not even agree with me on alot of things, however I will guarantee that my life will entertain you and maybe help you in alot of ways. My trials, my errors, my smooth roads and the bumpiest ones too. The mistakes I have made...that I will make again I am certain, will hopefully reach out to someone. I want my world and my life, my love, my honor, my heart and my mind, if nothing else, to be someone elses knowledge. I know that sounds crazy. I just wish for everyone, what I never had. A sense of knowing. A sense of understanding. My name is Katie. I am 31 years old. I have seen more things in my 31 years than a ninety year old woman will see in her lifetime. I lived the life of Riley, I have lived in the streets. I have been in a homeless shelter, I have lived in a mansion. I was raised by loving parents and given wonderful opportunities and I have blown most of them.
I am a single mother to a beautiful, talented, amazing daughter. My daughter saved my life. She is my world, my heart and my entire life.
What do I want in life?
I want happiness. I want to wake up every day and not have to worry. I want laughter. I want love. I can't wait to fall in love. When will that happen? hahaha! I ask myself that question every day of my life....
I don't know if it will ever truly happen to me but I embrace the hope that lives deep inside of my heart....
The three things that I hope, dream, wish and yearn for sound so simple to me. Love, Laughter and Happiness. Such simple words yet are by far the most difficult things to come by...for me anyway.
Well.. There you have it. The short summary of who I am and what I am searching for.... I only hope and pray that my next 30 years are easier and full of good friendships and lots of love and happiness. ... and of course laughter.
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